Harry Potter meets LOTR
by tbird09
Summary: This is a freaky Harry gone gay sorta thingy


Intro J.K Rowling got the Harry Potter series up to the 1ST paragraph of this story I'm writing what really happened after the DA meeting. I don't blame J.K Rowling for not writing what really happened, she didn't want to disappoint her fans but now I'm going to take up were she left off.  
  
The of Harry Potter in which he meets the LOTR  
  
the tbird  
chapter 1  
Harry Potter was playing around with Cho Chang after the DA meeting (a part that J.K Rowling left out of the REAL story just because she wanted to make more money). When Filch came along Harry and Cho decided to stop and get back to there common room.While Cho backed out of the room she winked at Harry who smiled back at her.  
"Where have you been" hermione said.  
Harry said "Cho just kissed me" (we know that's not all Cho did).  
"NO FAIR, NO FAIR, NO FAIR!" said Ron and ran off to the boys dormitory.  
Ron if you knew your head would burst from jealousy! Thought Harry.  
"Anyway Harry" said Hermione disapprovingly "we found a vortex right by Moaning Myrtles stall, where we were making out, I mean- a potion!" She bit her lip.  
"Lets go be stupid and check the vortex out!" exclaimed Harry  
"What about Ron" said Hermione anxiously "Screw im" said Harry "I already ha. " said Hermione confusedly "NO TIME TO TALK LETS GO"Harry said emphatically  
When they got there the vortex was swirling. They went through and found themselves atop a green grassy knoll, with little red and white mushrooms growing all about. Suddenly a tall thin elf with long blonde hair came rushing at them.  
  
Chapter two Save Me  
  
The elf dived at him and got ontop and tried to take his robe off. He would have succeeded but just then three guys came out one two average height and one short. They spoke angrily to the tall elf, "When it was rocks it was funny, when it was small rodents it was scary but slightly amusing, but you don't molest children!" Said the average sized guy but by the word "funny" Harry lost the drift of the conversation he just realized that he was GAY!! Just then four really little guys came out from behind the average guys legs. Harry noticed that one of them was pretty cute, but he also noticed the one that was next to him would probably kill him if he tried anything. Just then the average sized guy said, "hi I am Aragorn son of Arathorn, the dwarf is Gimli son of Gloin and the other guy is Boromir son of Pharamir, sorry about Legolas over here" he said pointing at the blonde, and Harry noticed quite attractive elf.  
Aragorn drew Harrys attention back to him as he said, "these four hobbits are, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin." "Pleased to meet you" he said winking at the hobbit that was Frodo. Sam noticed and growled Yikes! Harry thought. Aragorn said "we're going to a rock concert at Lothlorien tonight, to hear Saurons Disciples, we all like hard rock, wanna come" "Hell yeah!!" said Harry and Hermione in unison.  
  
MEANWHILE IN HOGWARTS  
  
Ron had just finished crying his eyes out and was going in the bathroom to comb his hair (he needed to look good for Hermione) when a spider bit him on the leg and he died. Okay, just needed to get rid of Ron, anyway back to the story.  
  
Chapter three The concert  
  
Hermione stole some clothes from Galadriel to look good when she came back to Ron. What she didn't know was that Ron was dead (duh). For the rock concert she decided on a pink dog collar, black fingernails, fishnet stockings, go-go boots (black DUH) a plaid mini-skirt and a black ripped v-neck tank-top that said made. Black lipstick, black eye-shadow, red lip-liner and black mascara. She also died her hair black and shaved it into a mohawk, then she died the tips neon green. (she made a vat of hair growing potion for after the concert) Harry STUPIDLY decided on a flowery shirt skin-tight shorty shorts. And put his hair in lots of little pig-tails "I am SOOO punk" he exclaimed to his reflection. "Let's get some punk boyfriends!" "Let's go" screeched Hermione to Aragorn who she noticed looked surprisingly rugged and manly. "Coming" he said to Hermione and then "get your ass down here Harry" They all piled into Galadriels Mercedes Benz (don't ask where she got it) Frodo had to sit next to Harry, I can only say one thing POOR POOR POOR Frodo!! Hermione and Aragorn were getting it on. When they pulled up to the parking lot people were excited, but they all stopped to look at Harry when he walked by Harry thought They Must L-O-V-E the way I did my hair" "Lookin' good shorty" said two men in leather jackets "OH I KNOW!" Harry said blushing "I don't think they liked you" whispered Hermione "Oh nonsense, everybody loves Harry Potter" exclaimed Harry, but Hermione was too busy giggling as Aragorn began to bite her ear playfully. Harry didn't notice though, he was too busy trying to make some boyfriends, he should have known the only other gay person there was Legolas. Everybody but him and his friends hated gay people. The show was great according to Harry, nobody else in his company noticed cause Legolas was trying to hide that he was gay. Hermione and Aragorn were too busy. And the hobbits were trying to get as far away as they could from Harry who had been making moves at the hobbits all night. Unfortunatley it couldn't last. That night Hermione and Harry met at the bathroom Hermione to get a glass of water from the hard workout Aragorn had been giving her, and Harry needed to use the bathroom. The two men with leather jackets were waiting for them with two machine guns and shot Harry. They tried to shoot Hermione but she got away and told Aragorn who immediately told her it was a bad dream and then started giving her a S-E-V- E-R-E CALORIE BURNING workout. Then the two men with machine guns came to there room and shot Hermione. Celeborn and Galadriel were wearing earplugs, so they couldn't hear anything. THE END 


End file.
